Qoutable Quotes!!!

Following are few of the quotable quotes that I have come across in the first few days of my rejuvenated college life. No offence meant against anyone. And special thanks to all my friends who have helped me compile this.

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"My volume is very high, both in loudness and my size". Professor trying to explain that he has a loud voice as well as his build.

“One degree makes the difference.” Trying to explain the importance of the one step that makes the difference. Water at 212˚F is just water, but one more degree of temperature rise makes it steam and steam has the power to run a locomotive. I agree with this statement, but there is another controversial version I have heard. If I am trying to break a log, and it breaks on the 100^th blow, it’s not the 100^th one which did it, but the previous 99 blows which did it in. Anyways, not bad for a start.

“Duniya ka sab se bada rog, kya kahenge log!!” referring to the inferiority complex people have.

“Paalicy is paalicy”, referring in a typical Tamil accent what was told to him by his manager about the necessity of having an MBA degree in order to be due for the next promotion.

“Apna Punja…..ab!!” speaking in a typical Punjabi accent. On his way, he went on to draw comparisons between how a typical Punjabi and a typical Mallu differ in their behavior while buying a bike.

Pun jabi: “Vaddi gaddi honi chaiye!!”

Dlr: But a big vehicle will mean more cost.

P: “Koi gall nahin!!! But everything has to be big. Shock absorbers, tyres, headlamp everything. Everything should look enormous!!!”

Dlr: But a bigger wheel would mean more friction, and more fuel consumption. Which means more running costs.

P: “Arre, koi gall nahi!! Par gaddi vaddi honi chaiye!!”

A typical Mallu will react entirely differently to the same vehicle selection situation. He would have done a lot of research on the same before going to the dealership. A Mallu is as it is wearing πr²h. When he has to sit on the bike it become πr²h/2 People actually wonder why he has to ride a two .wheeler.

A Mallu typically goes to a ‘koalage’ to zimbly gain ‘kNowlage’.!!!

Mallu in typical mallu accent: “With this 18” radius, how is this vehicle able to get so much of torque?? Please call your technical manager.”

Dlr: Sir please look at the vehicle first.

M: “No No!! Its oll mass produced!! I have seen on the road.”

He goes on to enquire all other details like EMI of finance option, and all other things and asks loads of questions, which atleast would frustrate the dealer and make him feel agonised!!

When the prof visited USA long back, he came across a person in the local transport who asked him, where he belonged to. When replied, “India”, he was asked “Do you speak Indian”

Prof: ” That was my first experience with American foolishness.”

In the early 70’s Americans had the image of Indians that they are all undernourished and hunger is prevalent all over the country. So when our prof first went there and was at the immigration counter, the lady at the counter asked him, “Are you hungry??”. Prof happily said, “No. I ate in the flight!!” He was greeted by a weird look. In retrospect, the prof realised that he had infact confirmed the suspicion of the Americans!!

Talking about Arabs, as the richest people in the world but having no real knowledge and skills. “The Sheikhs will donn Rolex watches worth lakhs of rupees. He will even have his hand movements in such a way as to show off. But if you ask him the time, he will still take out a digital clock from his pocket and tell you the time!! He does not know to read analog clock!!”

“Kerala survives only on tourism and gulf income. If you remove the gulf income, the GDP of Kerala is lesser than that of Manipur”, taking the Left Front to task for making scant development over the last few decades.

“West Bengal is Waste Bengal. People don’t know what they want and rulers don’t know how to rule. And because of the Communist Rule, there will be strike every second day, and the agenda for the strike will be decided later!!”

“Mujhe pain deejiye”, someone asking for a pen in a Marathi accent.

“You cannot show me your molars!!” to a student caught yawning in the class.

“I appreciate your compliments, but for God’s sake, I am not a machine!!”. Prof explaining his days in France where he had to undertake frequent tours to Portugal. Those days, Portuguese were totally against contraception and condoms were banned due to religious sentiments. As a result people used to smuggle these things from outside and Prof once incidentally happened to carry 800 pieces on one of his tour. His wife suspiciously asked him, “Honestly tell me, what your business is??”

“Exceptions are not examples!!”

The first week!!!

More than a week has passed since I have got adjusted to this new home of mine for the next two years. And these days have been definitely eventful.

First of all, the campus is simply breathtaking. If Manipal is paradise, Lavale is a bigger paradise. Situated in the midst of the Sahyadri ranges, at an altitude of 2200 ft above sea level, I am sure everyone will enjoy every moment of their stay here. For all the obvious reasons, its all the more beautiful with the monsoons just on the verge of setting in.

The hostels are totally well planned and designed meticulously to the last detail. All the things have been taken care of. I could correlate it to my previous stay during my undergraduate days, and could find a hell of a difference here. Though any comparisons of any sort would not be fair, I am pretty much satisfied about the hostel and the facilities. We have two seater as well as three seater rooms with attached baths. I have been allotted a two seater on the extreme top of the building. Peep out of the window and you overlook a huge golf course (supposedly owned by Jackie Shroff!! Dont really know how far it is true!!). And as a special privilege, I alone have the opportunity to walk all the way to the terrace of the Boys Hostel and enjoy the mystic and serene surroundings in the early mornings and late evenings!! The mess is also decent enough, serving a variety of food. Though the quality is not so great, it still is edible. It only makes sure that noody stretches beyond their limits in eating. My room is on the third floor, and a few trips up and down daily, will definitely ensure that I'll end up losing a few pounds here over the next few months!!!

The main academic block houses the SIU office, and academic blocks of two institutes other than ours. Commonly known as the North Block of the campus, its close to a km away from the hostel blocks, referred to as the South Block. Midway is the mess and the not-so-developed shopping complex. The great part of the campus is there are army cycles placed at the North, South and the Central blocks, which can be used by any students on campus to commute between these points. The campus has been decided as a "Pollution Free Zone" and no motor vehicles are allowed on campus. Though this rule is not strictly enforced, it still is a good way to start. People bringing their vehicles have to park it outside and can use it only to commute outside the campus.

The campus is close to 20 kms away from the heart of the Pune city. There is no public transport to anywhere near the campus as it is located in an isolated area. As a result, the campus runs buses to the city and from the city to the campus 5 times a day at convenient intervals. Really appreciate the efforts taken by the administration. Though a personal vehicle would definitely help, this effort is definitely laudable.

Another icing on the cake is the recreational facilities available on campus. There is a full fledged gym, aerobics and yoga with qualified trainers, badminton and squash courts, table tennis and carrom, a swimming pool (where I chill every evening!!!). Added to this is the 36" Plasma TV(was a pleasure watching Fedex complete a career slam). I really am in love with this campus and want to make the best use of the facilities available over the next couple of years.

Coming to the academic part, the first four days were full of gyaan sessions. People briefing about Symbi, the college, the new campus, the facilities, the rules and regulations, the opportunities, the statistics about the past performance of the institute etc etc. Though, a few of the students found them boring and useless, I thought those were important, as we need to be aware about the happenings in and around and the facts about where we are studying. More so because, we are all the brand ambassadors of our college, and inability to answer simple queries regarding the college would reflect directly.

Towards the weekend, we were taken for an Outbound Training program. Most of them, took it as an opportunity to start their "batting" careers. The "bowlers" here are definitely good and the collective group of them are far better than any team I have seen anywhere so far. But on the whole, we were all made to play small games and the learning from each game, was very much clear on the wall. Though very obvious, we tend to forget the small and minute details, which contribute very much towards good and efficient decision making and team work.

On the whole, the first week was good and memorable. Moreover, now that regular classes have started, it remains to be seen how I can manage my time. I'll try to post the pics asap. Till then, Cheers!!! Keep rocking!!!!

Three days & three big jokes!!!!

Its been three days since I have re-started my formal student life after a brief hibernation for 3 years. The three days have been more than eventful. Like the Fake IPL Player, I am in sorts, posting this, in a sort of a hurry. I promise to be back as soon as possible. But till then, I'll share with you three of the biggest jokes I have heard on campus in these three days.

• "There was a time when Pune was called the Oxford of the East. With our ambitious plans of expansion and going global, there will come a day when Universities will yearn for the title Symbiosis of the West!!!" - Principal Director of SIU on their ambitious expansion drive - Too ambitious I say!!!
• "SNAP is better than CAT" - Director, trying to draw comparison on the number of students taking the exam per college considering the exam score. CAT 2008 was taken by 2.75 lakh people and CAT score is considered by close to 130 institutes whereas SNAP 2008 was taken by 1.2 lakh students and SNAP score is considered by only 13 institutes. - Wow!! Some people in the audience might really have taken your words!!!
• "In the US of A, you must know where to rape!!" - Professor who was stressing on the importance of understanding the geographical and political systems in various regions in the world and their necessity for emerging business leaders and managers. The fine for rape, incidentally varies from state to state in the USA - "Well that session on a whole, was definitely interesting!!!"

Well, I am still in the first week with Induction Formalities going on. We are scheduled for an Outbound Training program on 12th and 13th. Promises to be interesting. Regular classes are going to start only from the 15th. Till then, probably I can afford to relax!! The campus is really beautiful. Especially the sunrises and sunsets over the hills in the durrounding, the pleasant weather, the facilities on the campus (really enjoyed watching Federer complete the career grand slam on a 36" Plasma TV) all add up to the ambience. I would also reserve my comments on the mess for a couple of weeks!!

Till my next post (hopefully coming soon), cheers!!!

Election Campaigns - Its a big joke!!

With the largest democracy in the world, in the midst of the world's largest electoral exercise, battles are getting heated up.  And why not, a lot is at stake! The license to rule (??) India for the next 5 years is up for the grabs.

But when you see the way election campaigns have evolved over the years, its indeed a big joke. The most glaring one about the 2009 General Elections is that, more often than not, we see people (candidates) trying to convince the people as why he/she should not vote for the other candidate, and not why they should vote for him! Generally, whenever someone wishes to represent the people, they need to tell the people why he is the best choice for them. What are the top priorities in his agenda should he be elected, and how he intends to address the issues of concern to the people. Rather than doing this, all political parties, no matter their size, are busy in mudslinging. So much that, it has turned too personal at some places.  All the election rallies have become mere means of accusing others and the other person replying to the accusations throughout. Party X says that in the last election Party Y promised such and such things but has not managed to deliver. Party Y reverts saying Party X had promised such and such things, but has failed. These gentlemen fail to understand that those who stay in glass houses should not throw stones at others. Other than these, I have never managed to see anything significant in these campaigns.

One sad part which I came across in these electoral campaign, was one of the most "respected" faces in the central government making a public statement that Independent Candidates spoil the show and people should vote for only party candidates. I was shocked to hear such a statement from a leader of such repute. And the biggest irony was that in spite of being a "party candidate", he does not have the guts to go and stand for elections to the Lok Sabha. In fact a sizeable percentage of our Union Cabinet has ministers, who have been rejected by the public. When the Constitution allows any Indian citizen irrespective of his background to aspire for becoming a representative of people, such a loose comment was definitely uncalled for. And this inspite of knowing that there still are a good number of Independent Candidates winning and coming to the Lok Sabha.

The only good thing about this elections has been the continuous updates shown by the media and the analysis done to varying depths, enabling the common man to make a decision. The write ups about the constituency, the candidates, their past history, the major issues in the constituency etc have definitely opened the eyes of many and made us aware of many things which we had no idea about. Yes, I do agree that there are chances that these opinions can be biased. But equally important is the fact to note that, its an attempt well done. One thing I have learnt over the last couple of years, is to appreciate the attempts made by someone to improve something however insignificant it may be and whatever be the outcome of the attempt.

I would like to give another funny aspect of these elections. When I was in Hyderabad till a couple of weeks back, the local newspapers carried a series of photographs of the sitting MP of one of the constituencies in the city. He was on a massive tour of a constituency he had never even bothered to visit in the last 5 years. And he was trying his hands at various professions at which people were involved viz. tailor, barber, weaver, blacksmith etc. The ironical part was the caption under it which in essence said that a majority of people who gathered in hundreds to see him, were not even aware that the person in front of them, was in fact a sitting MP and they themselves had elected him 5 years back! Are these the type of people we want, to represent us??

On a lighter note, there is a rumour that all future public meetings, press conferences and anything involving politicians and ministers are going to be held under strict scrutiny and among various things that are not permitted for the gatherings, footwears are also going to be included in the list. Every day, someone or the other is being targetted with an angry protestor's footwear which ultimately leads to another blame game.

On a concluding note, I would have loved to see live debates between two candidates or the top leaderships of major political parties, held in a more explicit way, on the lines of what happens in the US of A and other developed nations.  There have been indirect debates already on varied topics like "Should it be made mandatory that the PM should be from the Lok Sabha?", "Should voting be made compulsory for the people?" etc to name a few. I would really appreciate if this can happen in a direct way. Technology also has to be used to the maximum possible extent to ensure penetration and creation of awareness among the masses. I would even love to see some youth icon, urging the people to go and vote. (Though the EC had earlier conceived the idea of roping in MSD for the same, I dont know what happened to it.)

All said and done, I am definitely going to vote tomorrow. How about you??