Reactions live!!!!

I had just written last Sunday about how we react to situations generally, how we should actually react, and what to do and what not to!! And just four days down the line, I never expected I would have a live proof for another of those instances, where I bought time and in the end, went appreciating my each and every step!! And now I thought, I should be able to share that incident here.

Last week, I was on tour. I was travelling from a place called Mancherial to a place called Warangal by train. I travelled in the AC chair car, on the two seater, taking the window seat. The train I took eventually travels up to Secunderabad, which happens to be my headquarters. Now I possess two mobile phones with me. One is my official number provided to me by the company I am working for. It does not have STD facility. So I have another phone with me, just to keep in touch with my folks, all of whom have to be reached by STD!! It so happened that I had kept the STD waala phone in the right pocket of my pant. The distance between Mancherial and Warangal is covered in a little over 2 hours. And having worked the whole day, I was a bit tired and fell asleep on the train. On reaching Warangal, I took an auto to my Hotel City Grand, the place where I always stay when I am in Warangal. And the auto this time took me in a road full of potholes and bumps.

On reaching my room and freshening up, I decided to call my mom. So I tried to search my phone, but to no avail. I searched my bag, my pant, my shirt and God knows what else. But luck was not on my side. I had lost my mobile phone!! And it was simply hard to believe it. How could I have been so careless!! I started cursing myself. Not a big deal, because it was an old handset which was not retaining the battery charge properly, nor was its mic and speaker in good condition. I was just passing its remaining life time only to avoid the hassles of changing the Sim every time I wanted to make an STD call. So given the condition of the mobile phone, even the person who found it, would literally have cursed me!! Be it the question of the Sim being misused, I could always have blocked it.

As soon as I realised that I had lost my mobile, I tried calling that number. I sincerely hoped that it was somewhere in the bag, though I was sure it would not be. And moreover it was in the silent mode, so spotting it would have been even more difficult. On becoming sure, I sent an SMS to the phone, asking the finder to give me a call, just in case he finds it and wants to return it back!! Not that I was being too optimistic, but for the reasons mentioned above, I had a gut feeling that I would get it. But I had literally lost all hope. I had no idea where I had lost it. Was it in the train, or was it in the auto because of the beautiful route he had taken on the way, I was not sure. I did not tell anybody. I just called my colleague in Hyderabad, told him what had happened, and asked him to contact Airtel and bar outgoing calls from that number. He promptly did that and called me back. I again called the number, to be greeted by a sweet female voice "The Airtel you are trying to reach has been switched off or out of calling area". So I just thought that Airtel has deactivated the Sim. I started contemplating many things. What if it reaches wrong hands?? I thought about giving a police complaint either with the Railway Police or the Warangal Police. But for that I had to be sure where exactly I had lost it, something I never was sure of. I even contemplated telling it to our Administrative Manager, through which I can claim an insurance from the company, which again demands the lodging of an FIR. Too many complications. But unlike on other occasions, where I would have suddenly acted in a haste, something in my sub conscious mind, kept me in a cooler state of mind. I had never been so calm and composed before in life, when something as serious as this had happened.

Whatever it was, after some time, I was simply buying time, before talking to someone or doing something silly. After some time, I casually called that number again. Not expecting any result, I was surprised to hear it ringing. I only cursed the Airtel fellows, for not doing their job. I even called up my colleague and asked him to follow up with Airtel. I was worried more about the misuseBut somehow or the other, after some time, something suddenly flashed into my mind. It was saying out of calling area earlier and now its ringing. Which means, it was out of coverage area a while ago, and now its back in coverage area. Which meant that it was still in the train. Suddenly, I got an idea. The train was still on its way to Secunderabad. It takes another 2 hours from Warangal to Secunderabad. So there was plenty of time left. So I called up my colleague (the same one) to just go to the railway station and check up in the chair car as soon as the train arrived. Thats when I really got excited and started feeling that I may get back my lost mobile. There still was plenty of time left, and I was getting more and more anxious by every passing minute.

Finally my colleague reached the station, checked the coach and got the mobile. It seems, it was in between the seat and the wall, with the display facing the wall. So one thing I have always believed, was proved yet again in front of me. "Whatever happens, happens with a purpose and happens for good!!" The point I am trying to make here is, I dint act in a hurry. I thought. Out of somewhere, I got the wisdom to call the number again, and from there I got an idea that it could still be in the train. It never occurred to me that the train was on its way to Secunderabad and I can still check it there. Till I was sure it was in the train. Had I panicked and acted in a haste, giving police complaints, speaking to my administrator, I would have been termed as a fool, a careless fellow, and God knows what not.

I am really happy that the incident happened, and the timing could not have been better. It was a very eventful week I had.

How we react to situations!!!

Many a times, all of us would have come across situations, where we feel tremendously stressed; or instances where we feel too emotional; or at times, we also feel like doing something that we have never done before. It has happened to me many a times, and I feel I am not alone in this. Many of you also would have waded through similar waters before. So it may just be normal that such occasions turn up in everybody's life. How we react or respond to these situations, is what is going to make each of us different. No two people will behave to the same situation similarly. So thats what makes life interesting. Given a problem, there are millions of ways to approach it. Let me try to jot down what I have felt about all these.


According to me, from whatever I have seen happening with people around me, I can fairly generalise that its human tendency to react immediately when something unexpected happens. Need not necessarily be that the unexpected happens. It may also be something that has been expected for quite some time now, but when it really happens, things go out of control. Consider the simplest example, results after an important exam. One would have slogged day and night for the exams, and the results come out and I have done really well. I react immediately. I will call all my friends, all my near and dear ones, who have prayed for me, who have wished well for me in this endeavour and so on. Only to realise that my performance is pretty ordinary. This is only one of the examples. There may be many such instances. Happy or sad. I feel generally we tend to react too soon. Maybe we tend to get too emotional or over excited about things, but for one thing, I have learnt that it is wrong. I have been through many instances when I wanted to share lots of happenings in my life, lots of stresses I was going through, but something inside me told me not to do so. And now when I look back and reflect into the past, I realise how silly or foolish it would have been. My dad used to tell me even as a kid, Nitin, you react too fast for things. You speak out unnecessarily. Certain things you speak are really uncalled for. Yes!! I used to an over excited person. Till my dad reminded me of it time and again in my childhood. I tried to see truth in his words and corrected myself. Now after all these years, I am convinced he was right. For one simple reason that whenever we react immediately, the probability that we are wrong is as much as that we are right!!! So in most possible situations, its always better to buy time. People around may think that this fellow is dumb, he is good for nothing, anything. But end of the day, what people think is immaterial. Nobody can change what is the fact. And the fact is that we are just trying to buy some time so as to ensure that we dont do anything foolish! Some people may think that this is a pessimistic approach. I would say, that this is like being realistic. Nobody can stop you from spending your time the way you want you to. So there is nothing wrong in taking some time. Infact, sometimes, it feels really great when my friend told a couple of years back, that its impossible to judge Nitin from his reactions. He never reacts to situations!! Today my boss also tells the same thing. He even goes a step ahead and tells my other colleagues that responding to situations should be like what I do. I really feel proud at times, when people take me as an example. That I listened to my dad's advice that day, and here I am. Thats why I always believe Listen to your elders always. Not because they are always right. But because they have more experience of being wrong!!


Well enough of self patting!! Now does that mean that we should never react, never talk?? No. I dont mean to say that. I only mean to say that, take some time. Indeed some situations demand immediate reactions, or sudden decision making. But the number of such split second decision making situations we come across in our daily life is very minimal. By taking time, you are taking ample opportunity to think. If you are in a dilemma about doing this or that, think. Think once, think twice. Think it again and again. Just by taking a little time more, heaven is not going to fall. But by taking some time, you can be sure that you have given yourself some time. You can be convinced that you have thought about things with a clear and unbiased mind. Because certain things in life, once done, is very hard to be undone. Words once spoken cant be taken back.


But then, its equally important to speak. Always talk. Because talking reduces a lot of pressure. But simultaneously, do listen also. As far as possible, talk less, listen more. Have someone to talk to. Even in case of difficult situations, make it a habit to have yourself heard. Because, you should later not live with the regret that Had I spoken out that day, this would not have happened or that would have happened!! Why I say that speaking is important is because of the simple reason that people around are so busy these days, that unless you tell them something, they will not realise what you have in your mind. And more often than not, this leads to miscommunications. My boss always stresses on the need of a good communication for a healthy functioning. Whether you have done something that was required out of you is immaterial; what matters is whether you have communicated that you haven't done it!! This need not necessarily be an organisation alone. It may be a relationship as well. Most of the relationships strain because of only a small thing called communication gap. Whatever it is, whether we are happy or sad, whether we have a complaint against someone or a praise for someone, unless we tell it to that person, he won't really realise that. He will simply assume that all's going well with us and not even bother to think about anything. So thats why I say communication is very very important. Airtel's ad which shows two kids playing football across the border, is a very meaningful one in that sense. It stresses on the importance of communication to break barriers.


So the point I am trying to make here is that, on the one hand, it is very very important to talk to people, it is also important to control one's emotions. Its always advisable to take some time, think with a cool, neutral mindset and then react to situations. I for one, feel with all certainty that, the one who controls his reactions and communicates effectively will be a successive person in today's world!!

Maa

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

Thus starts one of the most meaningful and soothingly calming compositions of recent times. Written by Prasoon Joshi, the lyrics have the power of bringing tears to the eyes. And coupled to it, the music by Shankar Ehsaan and Loy and the voice of Shankar Mahadevan himself, it becomes one of the greatest songs of all times to listen.

It simply talks about one relationship in life. Mother!!! If someone deserves to be the most adored and respected person in my life, it is my mother. And I am sure many of you will have similar views. For the simple reason that, whatever I am today, wherever I am today, if I am able to stand on my own legs, its because of only one person, My Mother!!

Having seen her closely over these years, I would be committing a great crime if I dont appreciate whatever she has done for me. She has been one person, who has simply worked selflessly round the clock. Without expecting anything much. She has led a simple life, always maintained a very low profile in the society. She has always been the first to take up any responsibility, primarily at home and complete it very efficiently almost every time.

I still remember the days in my childhood, when I used to get punished by my dad for some misdeeds of mine!! And her laps were always there for me. There was a reassuring calmness in those laps. There still is. Over the years she has become one of my closest friends, the one who I can confide in about anything, at any time in the day. She is such an understanding person, always making it a point to listen first and then talk. I have learnt that great skill of listening more and talking less, from her.

Those days, when I used to go to school, she used to walk with us (me and my brother) all the way to school. In fact, I still remember my first few days in school. I, like many kids, was reluctant to go to school. She simply used to convince me that she would not go back and wait at the gate for the school to be over. And I used to believe her. She used to quickly go home, do the daily chores, washing clothes, cooking, taking care of my brother(till he also joined the school) taking care of my grandparents too and what not!! And in spite of all these, she made it a point to be present at the school main gate, 5 minutes before our classes were supposed to disperse. And she was never late, one single day!!!

Then came the days, when I started playing. Engaging in fights and falls those days were very common. Even during those days, she was always there. Trying to come and mediate, not always taking my side, but if I was right, she would never allow anything to happen to me. Even if I was wrong, she used to patiently talk to me, with an aura of conviction that I almost instantaneously used to accept my mistakes. Not that she wanted to find fault with me or make me feel ashamed. She only ensured, that I dont go the wrong way, that I dont learn from life the hard way. She along with my dad, have grown me up in such a way, that when the day of me facing the world comes, I would be fully prepared for it.

Another period of my life where she has played a major role is in my studies. Not necessarily academics only. I have been good at academics as well as co curricular activities throughout my life. And she always made a point that overconfidence never creeps into my mind. She always used to manage her time in such a way that she had time for everyone. For me and my brother, my dad, my grandparents, etc. My grandparents were staying with us meant we had guests visiting us frequently. And never once have I seen her complaining!! She has always spent an hour or so with us in the evenings, making sure, we don't go back to school the next day with a sorry face! With whatever she knew, she used to teach us. Not that she was a great learned soul or something. And with whatever she did not know, she made it a point that she will learn it and pass it on. I still remember a golden day in my life. After my 7th, when I passed to 8th, the local Municipality held a scholarship exam, for all local school students in that district. And whoever secured the first three places in the exam, got scholarship for the next three years. The questions were from 7th standard syllabus only, but I had seemingly forgotten a couple of concepts. I still remember the way, how she, late at night, was trying her best to convince me with the concept. That day, I had promised her, that should I win the award, I will give her half of what I get. Eventually I won the first prize. But the second part of my statement is still pending!! And she has never asked about it, even once!!

Dinner time always used to be a time of learning and interaction. All of us used to have dinner at the same pre decided time. And nobody has ever been late even a single day. Such was her charm and control over the house, that she has ensured that the basic discipline is well in place. Unlike other households where we frequently find maids for doing various chores, cooks for cooking and all, she used to do everything. That meant she did not get a fair deal with entertainment and all, but she was okay with it. The fact that, even to this day, we do not have satellite TV connection at our house, is a live testimony for that. And mind you, she is a great cricket freak. She badly missed cricket matches. But she was happy enough to sacrifice it for our futures!!

As I grew up, life and studies became more and more challenging. 12th was a very important part of my career/life. I had to wake up early in the morning to attend classes, then normal college, then evening classes and then return home late in the evening. And study till late night. So hectic was my routine. But even in that situation, she always used to be up half an hour before me, and always made sure that I did not have to leave house in a hurry. And she even used to sit with me in the late nights. She could easily have slept. But no she chose to spend time with me, which always gave me a feeling of security.

After that, I slowly moved to college, stayed in hostel. Met lot of people from various walks of life. I became more mature. I started playing around with her. Teasing her became a routine. But she never did mind. She has been such a great sport all through her life, that its just a consequence that she always takes everything so lightly.

And now, both of us have moved out. In search of our careers. Both my grandparents have expired. And my dad has been transferred to a place quite far from home, which means he leaves home earlier than before and arrives back later than before. So all of a sudden, the house has become empty for her. She has become lonely. Though we can all lend her only emotional support, I can very well understand, what state he is going through. Luckily for us, they have moved to an area where all activities are happening. She somehow keeps involving with them, meeting people, and makes sure she keeps herself occupied with something or the other. And to this day, she has never once complained about it!!!!

You are the most important person in my life, and will always remain so. Whatever I am today, is solely because of you. I know I can never repay you for whatever you have given me. But I promise you, to keep you happy at all times.

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

How mean are we!!!!

How frequently do we get happy at the success of Sunita Williams?? How often have we not celebrated the success of Bobby Jindal when he got elected as a Governor?? How frequently do we not feel good when our fellow countryman achieves something in life?? That too especially in some foreign soil!! I have always wondered, WHY??? Is it because there is something wrong in our country, or achievers in our country?? Why do we fail to see the success of our people in our own land?? How many of us appreciate what the armed forces are doing for us?? How many of us appreciate the lakhs of NGO's in the country?? How many of us wholeheartedly rejoiced when Vishwanathan Anand won the World Championship??

Brain drain is one of the biggest issues debated over. A brain drain or human capital flight is an emigration of trained and talented individuals to other nations or jurisdictions, due to conflicts, lack of opportunity, health hazards where they are living or other reasons. Considering the scenario in India, conflicts is definitely not the reason. Lack of opportunity, to some extent is a contributing factor, but not so big either. Health hazards, definitely no!! Lets assume the thing, that opportunities are the only factor contributing to brain drain. If that were so, we would not have seen entrepreneurs like NR Narayanamurthy, and others. I can quote a lot of names here, but why i frozed on him is because he has started from the scratch. At a time when he could have gone out, earned a lot of money, settled down comfortably with his family and never bothered about anything else. But he chose to be different. He had a vision . Many people may say, money is an important parameter. I do agree. Investment is a major important factor. But then, we have a live example in front of us all. NRN did not have all that money. What was more important is that he had self belief and an astounding ability to create a team and move forward.

Frankly speaking, I dont feel its the lack of opportunities. I would say, its the lack of vision. Lack of clarity in thoughts. It tends to happen in the initial stages of the career. I dont say its wrong to go and work abroad. But, once someone goes out, its very very rare that he returns back before retirement. Just think of a very simple fact. The Govt spends lakhs of rupees on the education of every individual. Higher education is not cheap. Colleges offering quality infrastructure, quality manpower, quality lectures and facilities are very less in the country. And its not easy to retain things like that. One lack of focus is enough to just spoil the entire game. Inspite of all these, we have a good number of quality educational institutes offering professional courses at a very very subsidised fees. Its not that education is cheap. We only fail to realise that, our education is costing the exchequer something!! And its our moral responsibility to do something for that. I again remember my professors words here. Unless you do something for the society which has brought you up to whatever you are, everything else is waste.

I still adore a person from my hometown, who worked in Infosys, and has contributed substantially for the infrastructure development of the school he had studied in. And believe me, that Govt. school is today on par with all other private schools there. And it has benefitted thousands of students who are studying there. So as I said, its more of a lack of vision rather than lack of opportunities. We just cannot sit complaining saying there are not opportunities. Opportunities will not come to you everyday. We have to create opportunities.

One of my professors always used to say "You may find a thousand reasons to avoid doing a certain thing. You only need to find one reason to do it!! " My colleague also always keeps on telling me "Stop reasoning why something may fail. Instead start reasoning, how it will succed!!" Two thoughts on similar lines, from two people who dont even know each other!! So, once again I wish to reaffirm. Opportunities are present here in plenty. We just need to find one.