I am confused!!!????##^&%*%^

“I am back after a long time”. I am actually fed up writing that statement again and again. Every time there is some discontinuity in my blogging, my first statement after comeback will be that!! I really want to do away with that and hope I will be successful with it in the future. After a brief surge in my blogging frequency just after I started the second innings of my student life, it was almost a month of silence. Now owing to the precautionary holidays declared by the college in the wake of the spreading havoc of the H1N1 in Pune, I have again found time to write something. I will not write on any topic specifically, but will try to dwell on whatever crosses my mind at this point of time.

The period of silence for my blog in between has been really a topsy turvy journey for me personally. There have been lots of ups and downs for me. Especially a week in between which went real bad. And I am forced to believe that it was all the result of a well planned divine intervention. I cannot but help the Almighty for having pulled me up from this mess that I was in. I feel that it has made me emerge stronger mentally and emotionally. I really do not want to go into the details of it all and relive the agony. So don’t bother asking me either. If you already know it, you know it. And if you don’t know it as of now, don’t really bother to think about it either.

The last couple of months have been a real different experience. Having come to studies after a brief stint working, it feels like heaven to be back among the books. Having seen the way corporate work for a great part of the 33 months I have worked, I realize what it takes to be back in the student’s shoes. The exposure I have got in my working career has helped me in clearly defining what I want from the two years of this MBA course. I know how exactly I should approach the education and what exactly to take out of this. A very close friend of mine said to me just before I commenced this course of mine, “Don’t take your grades seriously. But make sure that you take your learning’s seriously”. The statement is very true considering the fact that having good grades all through my academic programme so far has not helped me a great deal. I was a topper in my UG days, but that put me in place with lots of other common grade holders in my job. Not offending any of them, I realized that grades are not of any importance. So it won’t really hurt concentrating on things other than academics alone.

Now this change has been more evident from outside. Friends and relatives close to me, who know everything about me, have acknowledged a clear change in my attitude. I have become more carefree and do not worry unnecessarily. I am much more relaxed and easy going now. However much you try to not be so evident about it, you cannot really be so. It eventually shows out. And for people who are so close to you, it’s not so difficult to realize that change either.

A couple of years back when I was working; I was a part of a management workshop. There was this consultant trying to stressing on the importance of not worrying and thinking of the worst which can happen if something we were worried about did not happen. And he was asking us to compare it with the troubles and complications created by worrying and reflect on whether worrying on it was really worth it. I initially took it as just another gyaan but slowly when I started practicing it and found it to be really helpful. I do it even today. I believe that at the end of the day, life is not permanent. So there is no point living it worrying over small and petty issues. After all, issues are temporary. Things will change in due course of time and things will be forgotten eventually. Nothing in life may be serious enough to waste time worrying on it.

I know this sounds very weird and without knowing the facts, it’s actually difficult to make sense of what I am trying to write. But I desperately wanted to come back. So what if its not with a bang?? Every comeback in cricket does not mean a century; every movie by Amitabh Bachhan was not a hit. So I do not expect this post to be great either. Hope to come back soon with a more sensible post soon.