How we react to situations!!!

Many a times, all of us would have come across situations, where we feel tremendously stressed; or instances where we feel too emotional; or at times, we also feel like doing something that we have never done before. It has happened to me many a times, and I feel I am not alone in this. Many of you also would have waded through similar waters before. So it may just be normal that such occasions turn up in everybody's life. How we react or respond to these situations, is what is going to make each of us different. No two people will behave to the same situation similarly. So thats what makes life interesting. Given a problem, there are millions of ways to approach it. Let me try to jot down what I have felt about all these.


According to me, from whatever I have seen happening with people around me, I can fairly generalise that its human tendency to react immediately when something unexpected happens. Need not necessarily be that the unexpected happens. It may also be something that has been expected for quite some time now, but when it really happens, things go out of control. Consider the simplest example, results after an important exam. One would have slogged day and night for the exams, and the results come out and I have done really well. I react immediately. I will call all my friends, all my near and dear ones, who have prayed for me, who have wished well for me in this endeavour and so on. Only to realise that my performance is pretty ordinary. This is only one of the examples. There may be many such instances. Happy or sad. I feel generally we tend to react too soon. Maybe we tend to get too emotional or over excited about things, but for one thing, I have learnt that it is wrong. I have been through many instances when I wanted to share lots of happenings in my life, lots of stresses I was going through, but something inside me told me not to do so. And now when I look back and reflect into the past, I realise how silly or foolish it would have been. My dad used to tell me even as a kid, Nitin, you react too fast for things. You speak out unnecessarily. Certain things you speak are really uncalled for. Yes!! I used to an over excited person. Till my dad reminded me of it time and again in my childhood. I tried to see truth in his words and corrected myself. Now after all these years, I am convinced he was right. For one simple reason that whenever we react immediately, the probability that we are wrong is as much as that we are right!!! So in most possible situations, its always better to buy time. People around may think that this fellow is dumb, he is good for nothing, anything. But end of the day, what people think is immaterial. Nobody can change what is the fact. And the fact is that we are just trying to buy some time so as to ensure that we dont do anything foolish! Some people may think that this is a pessimistic approach. I would say, that this is like being realistic. Nobody can stop you from spending your time the way you want you to. So there is nothing wrong in taking some time. Infact, sometimes, it feels really great when my friend told a couple of years back, that its impossible to judge Nitin from his reactions. He never reacts to situations!! Today my boss also tells the same thing. He even goes a step ahead and tells my other colleagues that responding to situations should be like what I do. I really feel proud at times, when people take me as an example. That I listened to my dad's advice that day, and here I am. Thats why I always believe Listen to your elders always. Not because they are always right. But because they have more experience of being wrong!!


Well enough of self patting!! Now does that mean that we should never react, never talk?? No. I dont mean to say that. I only mean to say that, take some time. Indeed some situations demand immediate reactions, or sudden decision making. But the number of such split second decision making situations we come across in our daily life is very minimal. By taking time, you are taking ample opportunity to think. If you are in a dilemma about doing this or that, think. Think once, think twice. Think it again and again. Just by taking a little time more, heaven is not going to fall. But by taking some time, you can be sure that you have given yourself some time. You can be convinced that you have thought about things with a clear and unbiased mind. Because certain things in life, once done, is very hard to be undone. Words once spoken cant be taken back.


But then, its equally important to speak. Always talk. Because talking reduces a lot of pressure. But simultaneously, do listen also. As far as possible, talk less, listen more. Have someone to talk to. Even in case of difficult situations, make it a habit to have yourself heard. Because, you should later not live with the regret that Had I spoken out that day, this would not have happened or that would have happened!! Why I say that speaking is important is because of the simple reason that people around are so busy these days, that unless you tell them something, they will not realise what you have in your mind. And more often than not, this leads to miscommunications. My boss always stresses on the need of a good communication for a healthy functioning. Whether you have done something that was required out of you is immaterial; what matters is whether you have communicated that you haven't done it!! This need not necessarily be an organisation alone. It may be a relationship as well. Most of the relationships strain because of only a small thing called communication gap. Whatever it is, whether we are happy or sad, whether we have a complaint against someone or a praise for someone, unless we tell it to that person, he won't really realise that. He will simply assume that all's going well with us and not even bother to think about anything. So thats why I say communication is very very important. Airtel's ad which shows two kids playing football across the border, is a very meaningful one in that sense. It stresses on the importance of communication to break barriers.


So the point I am trying to make here is that, on the one hand, it is very very important to talk to people, it is also important to control one's emotions. Its always advisable to take some time, think with a cool, neutral mindset and then react to situations. I for one, feel with all certainty that, the one who controls his reactions and communicates effectively will be a successive person in today's world!!