Of Strong Opinions and the need to let go at times...

Have you ever been a part of a heated debate or a discussion that fails to neither die nor reach a conclusion? If not, have you at least been a witness to such a discussion, either in private or public? Can you recollect how some people get so involved in the discussion, that they totally forget the surroundings? The volume goes up. Hands start moving. Temperatures rise. And sadly, no quantifiable conclusion at the end of it all.

Just trying to analyze, one of my major observations is that when someone is involved with something so passionately, you find it really hard to let things go. Then you tend to get a bit more aggressive without even realizing it. More often than not, you fall in love with your ideas and opinions. This usually blinds you to other points of view and perspectives.

Now, this can get compounded when you realize that there exists a difference of opinion and fail to acknowledge that there is one. So why does this happen? Probably it has got something to do with the way we are brought up. We grow up learning to take pride in what we have, what is ours. It can be anything, an inanimate object, an out of the blue idea, a person in your life, an abstract concept, an accidental discovery or even an award or recognition. We feel proud when we achieve something and it’s natural to become possessive about that. Now when you are overly possessive about something, it becomes difficult to let that go especially when it has taken a lot of efforts to achieve that.

But if you look at the bigger picture, it is very important to let go of certain things at times. If you expect your opinion to be accepted or considered, you should be equally open to other opinions. A difference in opinions may always be a blessing in disguise, as it allows you to get into the detail and evaluate options in a much better way. No doubt, too many opinions may get you confused about which way is right and which way to go. But it is always better than having only one opinion when you are never sure if it’s the right one. Diversity in thoughts only gives you different perspectives, which eventually might make you consider something which you might have otherwise totally ignored.

It is as simple as these two small lessons I got as a kid. First one being, all these things are like a heap of sand in your fist. The harder you try to clench your fist, the more the sand flows out. And the second one being, unless you let go of things in your hand, you cannot grab newer and perhaps better things that are coming your way.

So the next question that arises is how! How do you make changes to the way you are conditioned, to let go of anything as and when required. The older you grow, more difficult it gets to change your ways. Any thoughts?