The difficult part of being on the other side of "Six Feet"

Year 1997.

As a school going young kid, I was very happy. Along with toughly fought academics, I was now on records a topper in one more aspect in my class. At five and a half inches over five feet, I was the tallest!

Fast Forward to year 2012. Surely and certainly at the end of my vertical growth, I am a tad under Six feet four inches. Am I still as happy? Ummmm… Well…..

Being tall is undoubtedly cool. It gives you that towering personality which in first look can give a great inferiority complex to a lot of people. But without going into all that, let me try to draw your attention towards the other side of being tall.

The most basic disadvantage is that almost all the products that are mass produced come in standard sizes. The taller you are, the farther away you are from the standard. Be it the clothes you wear, the footwear you use, the mattresses/cots and bed sheets you use your choice gets limited. You might really like a particular design or a colour combination, but it might not be available in the size that you are looking at. Many a times, you will be forced to go for customized orders, which take their own sweet time not to mention the additional burden it’ll put on your wallets.

Next comes the comfort while you are travelling. Be it air, rail or bus travel, you are never at ease! The leg rooms available in the buses and aircrafts are so meager that you will simply be waiting for the journey to get over and run out of the place. You’ll start cursing your height when people start brushing against your feet every second minute when you are attempting to catch on long lost sleep on a long distance train journey. Travelling is one of the biggest nightmares I personally have. That’s not all. You sit on a two wheeler, and appear as if you are riding a bicycle. Your knees at times get locked with the handle bars when you try taking a deep turn. Four wheelers are no different. A height as big as that, drastically reduces the alternatives you have!

Then, as a tall person, you are easy to be spotted from a distance even in a thick crowd. It’s difficult to hide from others (read people you want to avoid). You need to take extra care about yourself when you go to new places. When I go to my hometown, where most of the houses are still of the ancestral days, I need to be very careful when moving between rooms as the doors are very short. Additionally the ceilings too are pretty low, which necessitates me to have a watch on my hand movements!

You are tall, will require you to bend a lot. If you weigh disproportionately, the whole weight falls on your ankle and that goes for a toss. Wrong postures can lead to major problems on the spinal cord! Though everyone can be prey to problems stated here, the tall ones are slightly more vulnerable!

So yeah, being tall is not easy! It comes with its own, unique, unavoidable problems. And the bigger challenge is you can’t do anything about it and you just have to live with it! :)

Co-existence and NOT the survival of the fittest!

“The road belongs to others as much as it does to you!” shouted my uncle seated next to me. A few years back I had just got my driving license and was driving on the highway when someone tried to overtake me. Seeing this, I too accelerated denying him enough room to clear me and move on. Had it not been for the skill of the driver and of the vehicle coming from the opposite direction, I would have probably been witness to, and perhaps even the reason behind one of the most horrible road accidents! The learning still remains.

Think about it. I am sure you would be seeing it every day in and around you. People behaving as if they are the kings! Breaking traffic signals at will, entering no entry zones, riding on the wrong side of the road, parking randomly etc are things we have all seen happening. Some of us probably even do it every day! These people hardly think about the inconvenience it causes to the others around them, be it fellow motorists, be it pedestrians or the society in general. Today, it is all about I, Me, Myself! It’s true that basic human instincts might be the reason that propels one to remaining ahead. That maybe the reason why one starts honking at a signal even when it is 10 seconds to turn green. That maybe the reason why one doesn’t even consider stopping and instead accelerate further when he sees the light turning yellow from a distance. It is hard to even think about the risk everyone is being exposed to. Consider the amount of anxiety and stress it causes! Consider the poor pedestrians, who have to suffer all these, be doubly (perhaps even more) careful and always be attentive and watchful. One momentary lapse of concentration could mean disaster.

Driving is not about survival of the fittest. It is more about coexistence! You are not responsible for your safety alone, but also of the safety of everyone else who is driving around you! My driving license shouts “Driving is a privilege, not a right”

A friend of mine who used to drive eccentrically fast used to say “Driving is all about taking decisions in a split second, and I am able to do it! So there should not be a cause to worry!” But the question isn’t about your ability alone to take split second decisions. Safety on the road is also a function of the ability of everyone else to take decisions in the same split second as you do! And most of them may not have the same kind of a response time as you have!

It is true that today, vehicles have become more and more affordable. Infrastructure in terms of roads, parking facilities etc have not grown in proportion to the growth of vehicles on the road. Not everyone has good traffic sense. And that creates more problems for everyone! When I say traffic sense, I am referring to that City Bus driver who stops right in the middle of the road to pick up and drop passengers. I am referring to that SUV driver who has to take a right at the junction, but sees that there is a green to go straight and goes till the junction and blocks the traffic heading straight! I am referring to those lorry drivers who occupy the three lanes on the Mumbai Pune Expressway on the Khandala section, each travelling at 9.42 kmph, 9.81 kmph and 10.27 kmph respectively! I am referring to those fickle minded people who keep changing lanes just because the other lane ‘appears to be moving faster’!

Education is an important part to develop this traffic sense in a society. These basic things have to be imbibed in everyone right from childhood. Punishment for the guilty also needs to be severe. If educated and reasonable people like us tweak rules here and there for the sake of convenience, what do we tell others? How will the country prosper? Most of us sit and curse the traffic which is a major cause of our worries, especially in big cities. But it is we, who have to start doing something about it. Instead of jumping a signal to make sure you reach your destination early, you can very well start five minutes early. Travelling through a no entry in the pretext of reducing the distance by a few kms and reduce on fuel consumption, should in no way be acceptable when you compare the kind of misery you are going to inflict upon a lot others.

As they say, charity begins at home!

In Hindsight...

Have you realized that doing something new for the first time might be difficult, but doing the same thing again will not be as difficult as it was earlier? Have you ever been in a situation when you are in doubt about which way to go, confused and baffled about the road ahead and then when you are actually through, you sit back and reflect on it to realize that it was all so simple? You are often encountered with instances where you have different alternatives to select from, you end up spending a lot of time on it to make sure that you select the right one, and then once it is done in totality, you look back and think it was so obvious on how you should have dealt with it and wonder if it was worth the time and effort!

Usually, when you face something fundamentally new about which you may not have a clue, you really don’t know how to go about it. You try to gather your thoughts from your past experience, from popular wisdom, by consulting people who might have been through something similar and try to manage it. Whatever you do, you are never sure if it’s the right way or not, but you think that it’s the best way out. You try to speculate on how things are going to unfold based on your actions and other reactions and take that stand, which you feel is the best suited for that circumstance.

However, after that moment has passed by, when you begin reflecting on it, you may realize that you could have done something else, or something you did could have been done in a different manner, something could have been avoided and so on. This usually happens because the moment has already unfolded. The time has already elapsed. You already know the outcome of your actions and what repercussions they have had. You know how people have reacted and what they opine about the same. All these parameters now become inputs for your thoughts when you begin reflecting back on it. That’s when you begin feeling certain things were so obvious and you can’t believe you actually missed out on them.

It is not necessarily about instances and situations in particular. It happens in everyday life. Lots of things keep happening in and around you on a daily basis. You do not necessarily give heed to it because you think that is how it is meant to be normally. You do not try to read too much between the lines about minor changes that you see happening around you regularly. But when you realize that something has happened which you had not expected (and more so when it might have done you more harm than good), you go back and probe in detail. When you start doing it, you will find it much easier to connect the dots. You will start remembering small incidents which you never thought were part of a big story. All loose ends get tied up and you can see a clear picture in front of your eyes.

In a way, it’s important not to worry too much about what people say about something once it has already happened. People will keep talking because whatever they have to say doesn’t have any consequence whatsoever on what has already happened. They have no liabilities whatsoever whereas you had to think about everything when you had to decide on what to do. You did something because with all your commitment, you thought what you did was the best thing to do at that point under those given circumstances. Given a choice, or a second opportunity, you too would perhaps handle things differently.

Because, in hindsight, everything can be done better!

Patriotism

It was 26th January just about a week back and we Indians celebrated Republic Day.

An interesting conversation I overheard in office.

A senior colleague inching towards retirement to a freshly graduated engineer: “Hey how was Republic Day? I did not see you in office for the flag hoisting ceremony. Another holiday and you would have partied all night long and slept all day through, huh? God alone knows what where has all the patriotism gone and what will happen to this country!”

My first reaction on hearing this was, “???”. The young chap was wise enough not to drive the debate further and cleverly giggle his way out of it. But think about it.

Does patriotism only mean hoisting the national flag twice a year and saluting it? Standing in the movie halls when the national anthem is being played is patriotism? Singing out or humming Vande Mataram, Ae Mere Vatan ke logon and some Manoj Kumar starrer songs on I Day and R Day alone is patriotism? Exchanging messages and mails talking about patriotic things on R Day and I Day is patriotic? Waving plastic flags and wearing clothes with the shades of the national flag on those days is patriotism? Only those who die on the front, protecting the country against the external enemy or those who injure themselves seriously protecting the civilians against internal enemy are patriotic?

I would beg to differ. No doubt our soldiers are patriotic. But to say they alone are patriotic would be wrong. Patriotism need not necessarily be seen or heard. According to me, anyone who does anything which benefits the nation directly or indirectly is patriotic. Someone who makes sure he discharges all his duties towards the nation like voting during elections, paying taxes on time etc is also patriotic. Someone who follows the laws of the land say at the traffic signals which directly helps the society and its inhabitants is also patriotic. One who makes sure that he doesn’t litter the place and ensures that his country/state/city/village remains clean is also patriotic. One who works selflessly to educate fellow people from his society and help them stand on their feet is also patriotic.

“Patriotism is not short and frenzied outbursts of emotion, but a steady and tranquil dedication of a lifetime”, remarked Adlai Stevenson, a US politician and statesman of the 19th century. I had heard it as a kid. And I still remember it, word to word! With a change in generations, only the perspectives might have changed.

Once when in school, I didn’t attend the R Day function at school because I had never watched the Republic Day parade in Delhi and desperately wanted to watch the same. And I clearly remember how my principal had ridiculed me in front of the entire school assembly about how I was not patriotic! The conversation between my two colleagues reminded me that very incident!